Are your children also obsessed with the idea of having a dog as a member of the family? Does the thought of having to take care of another living creature overwhelm you? Don't worry. In this article, we'll show you why dogs are overrated and present eight simple but ingenious strategies you can use to talk your kids out of the idea of a furry housemate. This way, you can be sure that your family will stay happy and content even without a dog.
The truth about dogs: Inconvenient facts that no one wants to hear
Dogs bring dirt into the house
It may sound unbelievable, but dogs are true masters at bringing dirt and grime into the house. Imagine your beloved four-legged friend enjoying a walk in the park and finding the most beautiful puddle he has ever seen. And what happens? The fluff bomb jumps in, regardless of losses. The result: dirty paw prints on the spotless ground. Not to mention the secrets hidden in the depths of the fur. So cleaning up can become a challenge.
The real reason behind the famous dog smell
Did you know that dogs really sweat? But not through the pores of the skin like we humans do, no, they sweat through their paws. In addition, there is the natural smell of their fur, which is produced by the sebaceous glands. This combination creates what is known as "doggy odor", which can spread throughout your home. Especially if your dog has gotten wet, the smell can intensify. Imagine coming home after a long day at work and being greeted by this smell. Sounds tempting, doesn't it?
Dog hair - the unwanted souvenirs that never disappear
One of the most unpleasant problems of having a dog is the dog hair that seems to be scattered all over the apartment. No matter how often you vacuum or wipe, the dog hair always finds its way back. Not to mention the hair that gets stuck in your clothes and stubbornly refuses to go away. It's like always carrying a piece of dog around with you. It doesn't even have to be a long-haired four-legged friend - even short-haired ones can be real hair producers. All this raises doubts about whether a dog is really the best choice as a family member.
Create guilt: show your child how stressful dog training really is
Portray life with a dog as a 24/7 job
Make your children understand that a dog is not only a cuddly pet, but also comes with a lot of responsibility. Explain to them that raising and caring for a dog is a 24-hour job. Walks in all kinds of weather, going to the bathroom at night, and keeping a close eye to correct undesirable behavior immediately are all part of a dog owner's daily routine. With this in mind, it will be easier for your children to reconsider wanting a dog.
Compare dog training to the worst kind of homework
Remind your children how much they sometimes hate their homework. Now imagine those chores waiting for them every day - in the form of dog training. The patience and discipline required to successfully train a dog can be more exhausting than math homework or studying for a history exam. When your children understand this connection, they may rethink their opinions about living with a dog.
Create connection between dogs and unpleasant responsibilities
Show your children that life with a dog also involves unpleasant duties. Removing dog excrement, getting food and also regular worming are all part of the job. Ask your children if they are willing to take on these unpleasant tasks - perhaps even at the expense of their free time. If they become aware of this reality, the desire to have a dog could quickly evaporate.
The financial side: dogs are more expensive than gold
Scare your child with the high cost of vet visits
Make it clear to your children that a dog costs not only time and attention, but also money - and not too little! Veterinary costs can quickly add up to a small fortune, especially if your dog gets sick or even needs surgery. Talk to your kids about the cost of vaccinations, regular checkups and worming and they'll quickly realize that life with a dog can be an expensive pleasure.
Portray feed and care costs as astronomical
Good dog food and proper grooming are critical to your four-legged friend's health and well-being. Show your kids how expensive high-quality food, treats, toys, dog beds and grooming products can be. After all, no one wants to give their beloved pet inferior products, right? But the costs can quickly add up to a hefty sum and put a strain on the family budget.
Make your kid think he has to sacrifice his allowance to keep a dog
A little meaner than the rest here: Imagine if your kids had to sacrifice their allowance to cover the cost of the dog. Ask them if they would give up their new toy, their favorite ice cream, or going to the movies on the weekend to cover the cost of their furry friend. This idea may help them think twice about their desire to have a dog.
Invent allergies: Your child is suddenly allergic to dogs
Show videos of bad allergic reactions
A mean approach to dissuading your kids from getting a dog might be to show them videos of people having bad allergic reactions to dogs. Sneezing, watery eyes and runny noses can quickly put the image of the cuddly family dog in a less attractive light.
Make your child think they could develop the worst allergy ever
Play on the fact that your child could suddenly develop a bad allergy to dogs. Tell stories of people who had to give up their beloved pets because of allergies and how sad that was for everyone involved. The idea of developing an allergy themselves that separates them from their beloved pet may make your children think twice about whether a dog is really right for them.
Scare your child away with horror stories of dog attacks
Tell about uncontrollable dogs
Surely you know the stories of uncontrollable dogs that do not always obey despite education. Tell your children about these four-legged friends and how they get their owners into embarrassing or difficult situations. Emphasize that it is not always easy to control a dog and that it can happen that a dog suddenly has a mind of its own.
Reports of injuries caused by dogs
Here's where the creepy factor comes in: tell your kids about injuries caused by dogs - always with the kids' ages in mind, of course, we don't want to cause nightmares. Tell them about minor bruises like scratches and bruises that can occur when a dog is too rambunctious, or major incidents that are rare, though. The idea that a dog isn't always cuddly and loving can help your kids rethink their decision.
Social life will suffer: Friends will fall victim to dogs
Friends will suddenly be afraid of dogs
Another way to dissuade your children from the idea of a dog is to tell them that their friends might suddenly become afraid of dogs. Imagine their friends panicking at the first sight of the new family member and not wanting to visit. Of course, you are exaggerating a little here, but it will certainly make your children think.
No one will want to come to play anymore
Explain to your children that it may well be that their friends no longer want to come over to play because they are afraid of being bothered or nibbled on by the dog. Let your children know that some people are just not that dog-friendly and that they may see their friends less when there is a dog in the house.
Vacation nightmares: traveling becomes impossible
Explain the difficulties of taking a dog on vacation with you
Explain to your children that traveling with a dog presents some difficulties. Tell them about chaotic situations where dogs cause confusion at the airport or how difficult it can be to find dog-friendly accommodation. Exaggerate a little to show your children that life with a dog brings challenges even when traveling.
Show your child how stressful it is to find a dog boarding facility
Another way to help children understand the reality of living with a dog is to show them how stressful it is to find a kennel. Tell them about the absurd requirements that dog boarding facilities can have and how difficult it is to find trustworthy care for their beloved four-legged friend.
The ultimate bribe: offer your child an alternative
Promise a new video game or toy
If all else fails, try bribing your child with a brand new video game or a long-awaited toy. Tell them about absurd barter deals that parents allegedly entered into to talk their children out of wanting a dog.
Suggest adopting a cat, fish or hamster
Another way to deflect the desire for a dog is to suggest other, supposedly lower-maintenance pets to your child. In doing so, exaggerate the benefits of these alternatives. For example, suggest that fish never destroy the sofa or that hamsters do not start loud barking attacks at night.
Conclusion: life without a dog - a happy family life
A house without a dog has its advantages: No dirt, no unpleasant smells and more freedom in planning your vacation. Enjoy the carefree life without the responsibility of a dog.
Disclaimer: Caution, satire
Please note that this text is satirical in nature and is not intended as a serious guide or advisor. The exaggerated representations and ideas are only intended to entertain and make you smile, without questioning the real responsibility and love that a pet deserves.
English 
Deutsch 